Chapter Ten  


	By the time Simon turned the SUV onto the highway heading back towards
Phoenix it was well into the evening.  The sun was getting low in the sky and shadows
were beginning to creep across the desert.  Logan rested her head back and watched
the scenery pass by, a smile on her face.
	“Did you enjoy yourself today?”  Simon asked.
	“Very much,” she turned a smiling face toward him, but at the sight of him she
quickly returned her face to the window.  Ever since they had left the Losadas she had
been replaying the day in her mind.  The breathtaking view, the incredible feeling of
weightlessness, and the incredible experience of  picnicking on the wind.  And Simon
kissing her.  She could feel his hands on her, lifting her out of the balloon and lowering
her slowly to the ground, and she could feel his lips on hers.  
	Sitting next to him she could almost feel the tension cracking between them, and
she dared not look at him for fear the desire that burned within her showed in her eyes.
Clearly there was a physical attraction between them that she could no longer deny.  In
fact, had they been alone the last time he had kissed her, she knew she would have
been powerless to resist him.  She knew now why the man had a reputation with the
ladies!  Suddenly, having him stay with her in Phoenix was looking like a no-win
situation.  And it was looming ahead of her as they moved through the busy streets of
the city, getting closer and closer to her apartment. 
	 “Are you alright, McCoy?” he asked, his voice soft with concern, and she
realized she had sighed a rather heavy sigh.  She smiled, and turned slightly toward him
but avoided looking directly at him.
	“I’m fine, Simon,” she said, but he frowned in disbelief.
	“Back to reality now,” he said, certain that her melancholy was being caused by
the fact that soon she would be home, the day behind her and the night ahead, with all
the mysteries of the previous day still unsolved.  He pulled the SUV up beside the curb
and stopped in front of her apartment.  “Don’t worry, McCoy, I am not about to let
anything happen to you.  Not as long as I’m around.”  
	She smiled at him, and this time, against her better judgement, allowed herself to
look up, and their eyes locked.  She sat perfectly still.  A force like a magnet seemed to
be pulling at her, urging her towards him, but she resisted.  When at long last he turned
away and opened his door she finally took a breath, and felt like she had just landed
back in her seat with a thud.
	Then he appeared at her side, opening her door for her, and she was much too
aware of him standing only inches away from her as she stepped out. Once inside, she
was surprised that her legs had even carried her. When he announced that he was
going to give the place a thorough going over she was happy to disappear into the
kitchen, alone, to try to catch her breath.
	
	Simon rolled his face into the back of the couch.  It was past midnight and he still
had not slept.  After assuring her, and himself, that the apartment was still secure, they
had eaten left over pizza, then Logan had excused herself to prepare for bed.  He hadn’t
seen her since she’d handed him a pillow and some blankets then retreated back into
her bedroom,  but he had been acutely aware of her presence. 
	First, he had heard the shower, as she rinsed off the heat and dust of the day,
and he had stared hard at the ceiling to keep himself from imagining the soothing spray
of water washimg over her.  Then even the faint sound of her footsteps penetrated his
brain as she moved around her room.  But what was driving him mad, more than
anything else, was the silence.  Silence meant she was lying in her bed, and he ached to
be there with her. 
	Get over it! he commanded himself.  She’s off limits!
	He rolled over again and stared upwards in the dark.  There was a faint glimmer
of moonlight reflected on the ceiling, and he focused on it, hoping it would take his mind
off the girl in the next room and put him to sleep.   Logan McCoy didn’t need a scoundrel
like Simon Crestwater in her life.  She deserved much better than what he could offer,
and for that reason he must stay in control.  
	Simon had always been in control, at least in his adult life.  He’d put the disasters
of his childhood behind him and moved on, but still they haunted him.  He had failed
back then, and he vowed he would never fail anyone again.  In order to do that, it was
best to stay a loner.   Women had always understood that there was no future for them 
in his life.  It was the way things had to be.  Never let your heart get involved.  
	But no woman had ever affected him like the one that lay sleeping in the next
room.  None had ever made him ache deep down inside just being so close to her and
not being able to touch her.  None had threatened to topple his carefully laid defences
without even realizing what she was doing.  Until now.
	Now, he wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman in his life.  If he
had to stay with her much longer he was going to go crazy, but if he left her alone he
would never stop worrying over her safety.  No matter which way he looked at it, the next
few days were going to be murder!
	A faint sound caught his attention and he pulled his thoughts back to the moment
at hand.  He was just about to brush it off as nothing when he heard it again.  It was
coming from Logan’s bedroom.  Slowly he sat up and looked toward her door in the
dark.  There was no sign of light under her door.  Images of intruders forcing their way
through her bedroom window again began to play out in his mind, and without hesitation
he swung his legs off the couch and tiptoed to the door.
	With his ear to the door he could hear nothing, and decided to go back to the
couch, when at the last minute he heard another sound.  This time, instead of
movement, he was sure he heard a voice.  Just a mere whimper, but a voice none the
less.  Was Logan in trouble?
	He gripped the door handle and slowly eased the door open, scanning the room
quickly for any sign of intruders in the dark.  When he saw nothing, he turned his
attention to the motionless lump on the bed.
	“McCoy?”  he called out softly, and the lump in the blankets moved.
	“Simon?”  Her voice quaked, laced with uncertainty.  Then she spoke again, this
time a sense of relief in her tone. “Simon!”
	He pushed the door open all the way and took one step into the dark room. “Are
you alright, McCoy?”  Without thinking, he stepped forward, and as he moved closer to
her, she sat up in the bed, clutching the blankets around her. 
	“I can’t sleep,” she said, and he let out a heavy sigh.  She was alone, no one had
broken in, no one was threatening her.  She was safe, she just couldn’t sleep.
	“It’s Okay, I’m here,” he said, and sat on the foot of her bed.  To his surprise, she
held out a hand to him in the dark, and when he took it, she gently pulled at it, coaxing
him up the bed to sit closer to her.
	“Hold me,” she whispered, and for a second he didn’t believe his ears.  Then as
the gentle tug on his hand became more urgent, he gave in, pulling her into his arms
and holding her close.  After a moment of remaining perfectly motionless, listening to her
breathing and feeling her heart beating against his chest, he moved his hand to her
head and began to slowly caress her hair. 
	“It’s Okay,”  he whispered, over and over, while she trembled in his arms, and
instinctively he pressed his lips to her forehead. 
	“Simon, I’m sorry,” she said at long last.  She lifted her head to look at him and
she could make out a smile on his face, then she turned a nervous glance toward the
window.   “This is silly of me.”   
	“Nonsense!” he said. “It’s not silly at all.  You had a terrible scare, you have every
right to be afraid.”
	“I keep imagining those two men.  I see them climbing through the window.  In
the dark, it all seems more frightening.”  After a long silence, during which he did nothing
but hold her, she took a deep breath, as if she had been fighting an internal struggle and
made her decision.  “Stay with me tonight, Simon,” she said, lifting her head, her eyes
conveying her plea. “Please?”	
	He brushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “I’m not going
anywhere.  I’ll stay right here if you want me to, for as long as you want.”   
	But as he eased himself down onto the bed beside her, with her back pressed
securely into his chest and his arms around her, he wasn’t sure just how good an idea
this whole thing was.  As he lay there smelling he sweet scent of her hair, it was all he
could to not to roll her around to face him and kiss her.  

	Logan lay in the circle of his arms and realized that she felt safer there than she
had ever felt.  She closed her eyes and let the sensations of his hands and his arms
soothe her.  She could hear his breath, so near to her ear, and for the first time in her life
she felt like she was where  she was meant to be. 
	Simon is a good man, a better man than even he believes he is.   The words
Carlos had spoken  filtered through her mind.  There were feelings she was eventually
going to have to come to terms with, and that one simple statement seemed to be doing
a great deal to help her do that.  She had been in a relationship once.  Craig was not a
good man, and she had no idea if he believed he was or not.  Somehow, she figured he
had never given it much thought.  Simon, however, was a good man.  Whatever had
happened to make him doubt it didn’t really matter right now.  What mattered was that
she was lying in his arms, and she was tired of denying her true feelings.  
	When she moved, she felt him stiffen, but only slightly, and only for an instant. 
When she was facing him at last, and her hand was pressed against his chest, sliding
slowly up to rest on his shoulder, she heard an almost inaudible groan escape him, and
then his lips were pressed firmly on her forehead.
	“McCoy,” he whispered, and she heard a shakiness in his voice.  He took two
deep breaths, then spoke again.  “I don’t think this is such a good idea.”
	“Shhh,” she whispered, moving her fingers to his face and pressing them against
his lips.  Instinctively he kissed her fingers, and she caught her breath, then pulling away
her hand she lifted her face to his.  “Don’t do so much of that,” she whispered playfully.
	“What?”
	“Thinking,” she said, and as soon as she had spoken the word he let out a groan
and his lips were on hers.  
	She felt like her heart was going to explode as she kissed him back, her fingers
dragging through his hair, pulling him to her urgently.  His hold on her tightened, a strong
hand pressing against the small of her back, pushing her body close to his.  She could
feel the hardness between them, and knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. 
Whether he loved her or not was a question she decided she dare not seek an answer
to.  She had only just admitted to herself how she felt about him, she dared not hope
that he felt the same.   But he wouldn’t be around forever, and if he walked out of her life
tomorrow she would at least have spent this time with the man she loved.
	And then she stopped thinking.  His hand had slid under her camisole and his
touch against her bare skin was sending tremors through her body.  She whimpered
against his lips and he released her from his kiss, muttering something unintelligible
before finding a new place to lay his heated lips.  
	He lifted himself slightly, allowing her to shift onto her back, and with both hands
he slowly slid the silky fabric up over her breasts.  Kisses trailed their way down her neck
and over her soft flesh as he caressed her, then his mouth covered one eager bud and
her fingers gripped tightly in his hair.  Her desire was clear as she arched upward to him,
and he fed on it, throwing aside all doubts and thinking only of how much he wanted this
woman.  But he held his emotions in check, not wanting to rush into anything. Slowly he slid
his hands up her sides and along her arms until her upper body lay naked in the
moonlight beneath his gaze.
	“Simon!” she whispered, and lifted her hands upward, beckoning him.  He’d been
sleeping in just his shorts, and when he lowered himself into her arms his chest pressed
against her bare skin and he groaned, taking her lips with his once again. 
	He lifted one leg over hers and lowered, grinding his need against her thigh,
listening to her breathing as he kissed her.  “I want you!” he said, his husky voice
catching in his throat.  “Oh, McCoy, do you have any idea how much I want you?”
	She said nothing, just slipped her hand between them, pushing aside his shorts
and wrapping her fingers around him in an action that nearly sent him over the edge.  He
muttered a breathless curse and lifted away from her, giving her room to work her magic
before rolling away from her and sitting on the edge of the bed, panting for his breath
and raking his hand through his hair. 
	“Simon?” she said, weakly, leaning toward him and resting her hand on his back.
“What’s wrong?”
	She felt him tremble, then he lifted his eyes to the ceiling.  “I can’t do this,
McCoy,” he said, then turned to look at her. “I can’t do this unless I know you’ll have no
regrets.”
	She shook her head.  “No regrets, Simon,” she assured him, and placed a soft
kiss on his back.  She heard him take in a sharp breath, then he  turned to face her once
again.  He placed his hands against the sides of her breasts and gently slid them
downward until they reached the one remaining item of clothing in their way.  As his
fingers slipped beneath the fabric she lifted her hips and he slid further, until nothing
remained.  Then he knelt looking down at her.
	But when she reached for him he wasted no time lowering his body over hers,
and she spread her legs as he pressed against her.  He kissed her again, less hurried,
more tenderly this time, as one hand rested over her pounding heart. 	
	“Do we need —“ he started to ask, but she interrupted him. 
	“I never went off the pill, ” she said, her hands moving under his shorts.  He
groaned, and lifted, allowing her to move the garment out of their way, then lowered
once again.  She spread her fingers and slid her hands down his back and over his hips
as his lips met hers once more.  
        She wasn’t a virgin, she’d lived with Craig afterall.  With him, everything had been
organized.  Sex had been enjoyable enough, but it had usually occurred as the result of
a conscious decision, and a request, usually on Craig’s part, followed by agreement on
her part.   It had never been like this!  It had never started as a fire burning deep within
the core of her very being, boiling up inside her and threatening to burst if she did not
taste his lips on hers, if she did not feel the heat of his skin pressed against her and the
grip of his fingers in her hair.  It had never been the driving force behind the very act of
breathing.  
	And it hasn’t even begun yet! she reminded herself, as his lips slid from hers and
trailed down her neck, sending shivers through her entire body.   He kissed where her
neck met her shoulder and a tiny whimper escaped her.  This slightest sound seemed to
spur him on and he returned to his migration, sliding his hands down her sides and his
lips across her breasts until they captured one eager bud.  She arched, and the only
conscious thought that penetrated her mind was that she was putty in his hands and he
could do with her whatever he wanted!
	What he wanted, was to have this woman who so readily gave herself to him,
right then!  Instead, he prolonged the torturous desire, enjoying the sounds she made as
she arched beneath his lips.   He kissed her, trailing shivers down her body as he went,
until he found the center of her heat and heard her whimpered gasp as he took her with
his mouth.  Her motions, as her hips writhed under him, merely served to feed his
passion, and when his fingers found their target she lifted to him with a muffled cry.
	Nothing she had ever experienced had ever felt like this, and she wound her
fingers through his hair and urged him towards her.  When she shuddered beneath him,
with a cry in the night, he read her need with precision, keeping her on the crest until she
could take it no more and begged him to her.  And then he moved, sliding upwards until
he pressed against her and slid in, ever so slowly, as a breathless groan escaped him. 
She pressed him toward her with her hands, and he took what he’d been wanting for so
long,  and at last he felt like he belonged.
 
	As morning began to peek through the curtains, Logan lay sleeping, her head on
Simon’s shoulder and her hand resting peacefully on his chest.  Simon looked down at
her and gently stroked a strand of hair that fanned across her shoulders.  Since he’d met
her, he had never seen her look as peaceful as she did at this very moment.  Gone were
the worries and fears that had plagued her in the night.  Gone was the nervousness he
had seen many times on her face when they had been together.  There was nothing but
peace and beauty, and he couldn’t resist brushing his lips softly against the top of her
head.
	She stirred slightly, smiled, and cuddled closer to him, but she did not wake.   He
looked at her, as if committing the vision to memory, then lifted his eyes to the ceiling
and sighed.  Her peacefulness was contagious.  He felt it too.  Her body pressed against
him, her arm draped casually over his chest, the beating of her heart and the sound of
her breath — it all felt like it belonged.  There was nothing in his life he could think of that
had ever felt so natural as holding this woman as she slept.  Not only that, but he
instinctively knew that the moment she left his embrace, he would miss having her there. 
No woman had ever fit against him like the missing piece of some puzzle. 
	And it scared him to death!
	What are you doing Ol’ Man? the voice inside his head nagged at him.  Keep to
yourself, don’t let anyone close to your heart. Remember?  This is all against your well
laid plans, Crestwater! You’re no good for her. 
	She moved, just a little, and his gaze was drawn back to her face.  Seconds later
her hand slid upward and her fingers took up a strand of his long black hair and twirled it
abstractly.  He felt his heart begin to beat faster.  She was awake!  Instinctively his hand
betrayed him and tightened against her, not wanting to let her leave his side. 
	“Good Morning,” she purred, rising onto her elbow and lifting her head to look at
him.  The look on her face nearly drove him mad, but instead of scooping her up, rolling
her over and making love to her again like he had in the night, he threaded his fingers
through her hair and kissed her soft and fleetingly.
	“Good morning, Beautiful,” he said.
	She giggled, and this reaction surprised him.  Then when she wrinkled up her
nose and shook her head ever so slightly, he realized that she didn’t consider herself
beautiful.  He raised his brows and pretended to frown. 
“What’s that for?” he asked her, playfully.
	She looked away, focusing her gaze intently on the strand of black hair she was
twirling around her fingers.  “You know I’m not,” she said, a hint of melancholy in her
voice.
	“Beautiful?” he asked her, and she nodded.  He moved his hand to her cheek
and turned her to look at him, his eyes searching her face.  “McCoy, you are the most
beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”  He felt her try to look away, but his hand
held her there.  “Even now, first thing in the morning, or sound asleep.”
	“Don’t be silly, Simon,” she said, a smile playing on the corner of her lips but her
eyes cautiously turned away from his. 
	“Look at me, McCoy,” he said, and the serious tone in his voice compelled her to
lift her eyes to his, and she was locked in the gaze from the dark depths.  “It’s not the
least bit silly,” he breathed.  “Not to me.”
	And it was true, though having said it made him cringe somewhere deep down
inside.  This was all much too dangerous territory.  He should have just got up while she
had still been sleeping and worked out some plan to keep as much distance between
them as possible.  He should have listened to his inner voice and remembered that he
must not get involved with this woman.  It was for her own good!   In fact, as soon as he
got out of this bed, he would find some way to keep her out of his arms, make sure that
nothing happened again between them.  He would think of something.
	And then she kissed him!
	It was the softest kiss he had ever experienced.  Her lips only just brushed
against his like a breath, but it was enough to set his senses reeling, and the only thing
he could think was that he had to have more.  And once he’d claimed her lips in a fiery
passion he realized that still was not enough.  He had to have her!   Whether he was
wrong for her or not, none of it mattered at that moment.  All that mattered was that he
wanted her.  Wanted her more than he’d ever wanted before.  And since she didn’t
seem to be putting up any objections as she climbed up straddling him in the heat of
their kiss, he decided thinking would have to be done later.
	Much later!